rainy night

i stroll the empty streets again tonight

said goodbye

slammed the door and walked out of your life

you lied

when you said it's gonna be alright

i tried

to make it work but it doesnt feel right

hey...

i'm sorry but i can't stay

hey...

you'll find someone right for you someday.

went home

and thought about the things i've done tonight

and now

i realized there's no one left to fight

in my room

your scent still lingers in the air

damn you!

it's over now, stop reminding me now

coz it can't be me

stay away from me

it's not gonna be

a you and me.

la lang.. gawa-gawa lang.. not really an emotional junkie no? wait till you hear the song... hehehe!! i composed this song a couple of days ago. can't sleep kasi eh. haaay.. the perks of being a nocturnal creature nga naman.. hehe!! can't say im complaining though..

Across the road there’s a room,

I’m left alone with no clue

Looking for somebody who will

cut the line and stay for good

Watching you every night,

seeing you oh so right

When will I escape the past

and learn to leave you like this mess

Though I know it’s hard to make it last

It flickers in my mind like a shadow cast

My mind revolves into your eyes

But the love that you gave were all lies

You never knew how hard

to be so dim about the things I’m feeling

Yes you’re killin’

You taught me how to love

and live my life that turns to be waiting

‘cause I’m dyin’ without your love

The burdens left in my mind,

clingin’ on far behind

Waiting for the ray of light

to wash away these tears and dry

Seeing you for so long,

my mind and heart that is strong

Why should I believe in love

when all I feel is pain unbound

Even if my world would fade in blue

It doesn’t matter as long as I have you

I don’t care if I’m left behind

For as long as someday you’ll be mine

hmm.. la lang. hehehe! trip ko lang talaga 'tong song na ito since pinarinig sa kin nila Dale nung May. astig ng tono. hehehe! immediate fave ko sa EP nila.. bili kau ahh.. P100 lang. kinig na rin kau drecho ng gig ng Pillowcase sa Cafe Adriatico. Andun cla almost everyday eh. except tue tska Sat.. 6-9 pm lang kaya kahit students na may pasok kinabukasan, pede makanood..  hehehe! o ayan ahh.. nag plug nQ.. hehehe!! punta kau.

Look at me

What do you see?

A babbling git

A struggling bit

I'm out of control

Can't even catch the ball

What's happening to me?

WHy can't you see?

I've worked

Now I'm consumed

I struggled but still

No one can see

Everything I've done

Everything I've said

No one understands

All against me they stand

No sun shining

No rain pouring

Just an endless desert

Of darkness

No turning back

Can't move on

STUCK

Death is inevitable.

You feel blue

Is it true?

Are we alive?

Is it true,

Like blue?

What can set you free?

A bottle of gin

An inexcusable sin

Why even ask?

Senseless things

STUPIDITY.

I better pack

This crap up

People say truth

Shall set you free

And Death is certainly

An absolute truth

Then what if

DEATH is the TRUTH

That would set you

FREE.

Could it be?

I’m crazy happy now, and I don’t know why. Well actually, I do. My buddies got a bit drunk with too much tequila and they got to patch up their differences. (huh? Ano un?) I do hope they’re alright now. 
       

Right now, I’m at home, relishing Eraserheads tracks. Damn! They’re great talaga, wala na akong masabi. Well, kwento ko na lang stupidity ko kanina. When I woke up, syempre everything’s a bit fuzzy pa diba? I switched the light on sa kitchen. Hindi ko napansin na may mug with a spoon, fork, and butter knife malapit don. When I flicked the switch on, then pagbaba ko ng kamay ko, well, you do the math.. Parang naglaslas ako ngayon eh..  Waaaaaah! Laceration talaga.. stupid, stupid!!

Lalalalal-lala-lala-lalalaaaaaa Lalalala-lala-lala-lalala. I’m just singing along with Ely na. Hahaha! Fave E-heads song ko kasi yung Ang Huling El Bimbo. Astig talaga. Fruitcake naman ngayon tugtog..

So, yesterday, Jiselle asked me to go out of the house na naman. Hmm.. masyado na akong comfortable sa bahay eh, nakatamad lumabas. Anyway, nag meet kami sa Mcdo Quirino. On my way to Quirino, nag MRT ako till Taft Ave., malamang since hanggang doon lang talaga yon, diba? Then sakay sana ako sa LRT, but then hindi natuloy kasi at first, sabi ng guard, Code Yellow daw, then nagging Code Red.

He explained that code Yellow means nagkaroon lang ng problem sa ibang station ata, nag break down daw yung train, or something. Madali lang daw maayos yun. Pag code red naman. cancelled daw talaga yung operation. Hirap sumakay, puno rin naman yung mga cabs. I was getting impatient na eh and was on the verge of heading back to MRT and going home na lang eh. Pero ayun, someone’s waiting for me nga pala.. Kaya ayun, napa-dyip ako. Enjoy! First time kong mag-dyip from Edsa to Quirino. Ayun, inabutan ko si Jiselle sa Mcdo. Buhay pa pala. Hehehe!

Then naglakad kami papuntang agency nila. Pang-gulo lang ako eh. Hehehe! Pag dating naming sa loob, may nakita kaming girl na nakaupo. Kakilala ni Jiselle. Hindi man lang sakin pinakilala, iniwan lang kami don. Well, as we all know, makapal ang mukha ko diba? I introduced myself na lang. Hehehe! Her name’s Bernalyn daw. Well, ayun, we chatted for awhile till Je got back. Pagbalik niya, kasama na niya sila Dale tsaka si Kate.

Binigyan ko yung dalawa ng Apple Pie from Mcdo, then nagyayaya si Jiselle mag starbucks muna kasi inggit siya sa thermos ko. Pero hindi naman natuloy. Hehehe! Nahawa na rin cguro sa pagkahilig ko sa Coffee. Anyway, pinag titripan nmin yung BMW dun sa garage eh.
Ayaw ba naman palapitan ng driver yung car kasi baka magasgasan daw. We were just chatting near the car then, may hawak nga lang non si Berna ng Rain Stick Sarap sana hampasin eh. Hehehe! Inis tuloi sa driver si berna tska si Jiselle. Kulet. Then nanggulo na naman si Jiselle dun kay sir Jimmy niya. Hmm.. do I smell something fishy?

Para sa masa.. E-heads.. Pinaka una kong kinarir na kanta sa keyboards. Hehehe! Back in 4^th grade. La lang, share ko lang. Sarap mag sound trip talaga. Okay, back to my story na. Wait, with a smile na. ang ganda rin nito no? okay, back to my story telling na. site ko ‘to, walang aangal… tuh-dududu… tuh-dududu… (sing with meeeeh&hellip

Where was I? right, sa agency nga pala. After awhile, dumating na yung mga band mates ni Berna, vocalist pala siya. Na meet ko yung lead guitarist nila si Jan, then si Miko yung bassist tapos si Charlotte yung drummer. Tapos ayun, sumama ako hanggang sa house nila Mommy Jo nila. Interesting place. Sumakay kami ng fx siksikan nga lang. andun kami sa gitna. Would you believe na nagkasya kami nila Miko, Jan, Jiselle, Dale don? Hahaha! Kulit na eh. Reklamo pa ng reklamo si Jiselle kasi inikot daw kami ng driver. Dapat sa Abad Santos na lang daw dumaan.

Hindi sumama si Charlotte tska Berna samen eh. The sense of foreboding.. Hahaha! They went to Rob Place noon. Bili daw si Berna ng retail wallet ata eh. Pang load ng Mom niya. So ayun, pag dating naming sa house nila MJ (mommy jo) chill lang.. parang department store. Daming clothes sa racks. Dami ring girls. Hehehe! Dorm kasi. Mwahahaha! Pero kulang eh.

Ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe! Walang kokontra.

After awhile, dumating si Berna tska si Charlotte. Gita-gitara lang kami muna  nila  Jan til around 8. ang kulit nga niya eh.. sooooobra!!! tinuruan kme kung pano mag sneeze.. hehehe! tusuk-tusukin lang daw ung eyes.. hahaha!  then pumunta na ng paranaque, sa BF.. panggulo lang talaga ako.. hahaha! Crashing a house party. jOwk. Dakilang PA ako muna sa friends ko. Tugtog cla doon eh..  Hehehe! Hmm.. merong utang sakin na Venti’ng Rasberry tea si kate, then Mango tea si Dale.. hmm, ano kaya isisingil ko kay Jiselle.. hehehehe!!

Anyway, pagdating namin dun sa house, nakipag tsismisan muna kay sir Abet, pinarinig samin yung album niya sa pink noise daw un.. okay lang, malinis nga recording. Hehehe! Sarap tumambay ng cr. Yun lang. Hehehe! Kulit nila Berna tska Jiselle, gusto mag swimming. Sabi nga ni Berna, dapat nag provide rin daw ng swimsuits kasi wala silang dala.. Hahaha! Kuleeeeeet. Then kumain na muna kami ng dinner.
While we were having dinner, nagbiruan kami.

The usual pasaway. Yung paglalabas daw ng house tapos magpapaalam sa parents. Sabi ko kasi, minsan pag natutulog ako kina kate, through text na lang ako nagpapaalam and wala nang magawa mom ko. Sabi naman ni dale, siya daw nakabihis na then sisigaw na lang daw sa labas ng house nila sabay alis. Hanggang sa dumating yung topic about Japan. Sama daw ako sa kanila. Alis daw ako samin with my clothes then pag dating daw ng Japan, saka na lang daw ako magpaalam. Hahaha! Sabihin ko daw sa mom ko, “ma, tulog lang ako dito kina kate ahh, sa Japan, mga six months lang po. Kaw ng bahala kay turkey ahh.” –that brought rounds of laughter sa table nmin. Hahaha!

 Astig yung house. Daming arts. May mini venus nga siya na statue eh. Nag explain nga ako kung bkit ganon ung itsura non eh. Yung kung bakit walang arms. Naniwala naman yung apat. Eh gawa-gawa ko lang naman yung explanation ko. Wahahahahaha!! Pero may logic rin naman eh.

After dinner, inikot naming yung compound. Nice one. Dameng cars, halos lahat, Ferrari.. may hammer rin siya na yellow. Tska smart car. Cute. Tapos, may miniature collection siya ng cars. Cute ng mini Mini Cooper. Tska may beetle siya na may colors ng Great Britain. After manggulo ng mga guards, nag jam na lang kami sa swing. Kantahan na lang muna. Thrice pa nga nauntog si Berna. Buti na lang nakasabay siya sa kabaliwan naming eh. Aliw talaga yung night na yun. Then after midnight, tumugtug na sila. Then party na!!! Dale got a Pale, pareho kami, red wine kay Jiselle, Juice kay Berna, and water kay Kate. NAKAMISS TALAGA SI CHERYL PAG MAY PARTY!!!!!  

After awhile, naglabas na ng tequila sila. Ayun, no exemptions. Na first time si Berna. Hahaha! Buti na lang behave yung bata unlike the other two, si Kate tska Je. Maxadong pasaway, nag red wine pa uli si Je then gumaya rin si kate. Kaya by the time the party is through, halos bagsak na yung dalawa. Hahahaha! Tawa na lang kami ni Dale eh. Umuwi na agad si Berna. But we stayed for awhile. Till mga 4am ata. Nag breakfast na lang kami sa McDo ng Pedro Gil. Ayun, Je just made a scene. Natatawa nga yung crew ng Mcdo eh. Hahahaha! It was pretty amusing nga. Biruin mo ba naman, naglupasay si Je sa floor ng McDo.. hahahaha!

Anyway, after Mcdo, kinukulit ako ng tatlo na matulog na lang daw ako sa house nila Kate. Well, tinanggihan ko, baka makidnap na naman ako at makarating pa ng Bulacan mamaya. Hehehehe! Sumama lang ako hanggang house nila kate xe mag burn ako ng mga wala pa akong audio. Then I took a cab and got bome at around seven where I was welcomed by my babies. Nagtatatalon pa si rabbit, yung white kong kitten. Tapos nanglalambing rin si turkey, yung black kong kitten.  Gutom na kasi. Nung nakita nila yung plastic ng friskies, naku! Nagtakbuhan na saken. Hehehe! Cute talaga ng babies ko! Nakawala ng pagod.

Well anyway, after that natulog na rin ako.. pagod talaga eh..
Hanggang sa nalaslas ako pag gcing ko kanina..yun lang. morbid no? well, that’s about it. Novel na to eh.. hindi ko na nga inayos eh.. dame cguro typo errors.

Well, that’s about it. I’ll update as soon as I can.

Peace out.

I know it’s been really a long time since I last updated. So without further ado, (okay, I’ll drop the theatrics. Hehehe!) Here’s the 411.
 
I left Cubao at around 8pm. I rode the Philtranco Gold Service-8; I was on seat #3 (ala penny and me). Grabe, ang luwag ng EDSA!! We reached the Shell Station in Magallanes in record time! The stewardess got our dinner there, courtesy of Chowking. As I looked at the window, I saw Cinnabon, which made me think of ham and cheese croissant and coffee. Sigh! I’m starting to miss manila na agad.
 
The stewardess tried talking to me. She was talking in bicol. I can understand and speak bicol, though only the bicol - sorsogon – bulan – dialect only, and not as fluent as I want to be. But it’s still comprehensible (Hehehe!). And as the stellar witch aptly puts it, she misses my “barok” bicol.
 
The trip was rather dull, boring, and uneventful, though I noticed someone eyeing me. I looked at him too, for a couple of times. He looked familiar. Maybe that’s why he’s looking at me too, maybe I seemed familiar to him too, though he can’t place it. Later on, I realized where I saw him before.  It was in a group picture. The primary photo in friendster of an ex S.O., I might add. Seems weird that I saw that guy, and remembered where I first saw him. Hmm.
 
I listened to the player all night long. Thank the lucky stars it was an mp3 player, at least no hassles in changing cd’s or whatsoever. The only consolation I had was Jiselle; we exchanged text messages until around 3am. I was in Naga then, 2 hours away from my destination. I kept on teasing her about her suitors. Hahaha! She has a battalion of suitors, and rather impatient ones too. And I’m beginning to think that she’s a hopeless case in romance, like me. Hahaha! Oh well, as the terrestrial adage goes, “birds of the same feather flock together” girl!
 
I reached Sorsogon at around 6. It was raining, unlike here in manila. I liked the weather there. It’s damp. Here, it’s really dry. Anyway, it was pretty cold when I got out of the bus. The rain was really pouring hard that Saturday morning. Shaking seemed to be an understatement. Well, what do you expect me to feel? After more than 10 hours of sitting in an extremely cold air-conditioned vehicle, and stepping out in a downpour, I don’t think you’ll be having the best feeling in the world too. 
 
But it was worth it. I had a grand time there, even for just a week. Though I didn’t get to have everything that I wanted. It was ok.
 
After I got home (Lolo’s house), I dropped my stuff and headed out again. I was hungry. I went to manoy’s and had tapsilog and milk. No coffee’s that morning cause I wanted to get some sleep. While having breakfast, I told my mom and other close friends that I got there safely (well, they insisted that I text them). After having breakfast, I went home and tried to catch some sleep. But unluckily, I didn’t get any that morning.
 
I went out that afternoon to check if there we’re any emails for me, or any messages in friendster. When I opened my messenger, I saw that a friend of mine is online too. I asked her where she was; she told me that she was in another net shop. We decided to meet up after that and chatted till 7pm.
 
After that, I didn’t go directly sa house. I went to a friend’s house muna. (Hi Jo! MissYah buOg!) I got an interesting welcome. It went like “ oi bAm! Musta? Bakit ang payat mo lalo? Nag chOngkeE ka ba?” what the heck! Nice greeting, no? I just laughed it off. And just for the record, no I don’t.  And then, another question was thrown at me. And it was as unpleasant as the first question. Jo asked me about someone I’d rather not talk about. Sigh! Moving on.
 
I got home at around 8 and slept the night away.